#GirlBoss is Bullsh*t: If women want a seat at the table, they have to STOP calling each Girl Boss.
Ever since NastyGal Founder Sophia Amoruso released her autobiography, #GIRLBOSS, in 2014, I’ve seen women referring to themselves as ‘Female Entrepreneurs’ and ‘Boss Babes’. Usually plastered across blush pink Instagram feeds, with #girlboss attached — we’re meant to feel a sense of community associated with being a girl boss, right? A connection to other ‘girl bosses’ just like us.
But I don’t.
I feel oppressed.
I feel like #girlboss undermines every single fight I have had in my career to be taken seriously in male-dominated spaces.
And it’s bullshit.
Women, by using these terms, have set about to build an entirely separate table instead of taking a seat at the perfectly good one that already exists — further perpetuating this idea that women can’t do what men do.
#Girlboss is limiting.
It’s demeaning, and it’s patronising. And it has serious consequences. According to a Telegraph poll, two-thirds of 750 female founders felt they were not taken seriously when pitching to investors. And the stats prove it. In 2019, 2.8% of funding went to women-led startups; in 2020, that fell to 2.3%.
#GirlBoss perpetuates the idea that women are NOT serious business people.
I’m not a #girlboss.
I run a business. I employ 9 people. I’m also a single mum. A friend. A daughter. An entrepreneur. I am a lot of things.
But what I’m not is a boss bitch. A female boss. A mompreneur. A boss babe. A she-EO. A female founder.
And I’m certainly not a #girlboss.
I don’t identify with any of these terms (the majority of which have been coined by other women) because why would I? My gender is utterly irrelevant to what I do. I’m running a business, so would I need to tell everyone I’m a female before that?
And look, maybe I’m biased. I don’t need to tell the world I’m a woman to feel feminine. It’s a part of who I am. And whilst I embrace my femininity and my pride at being a parent with both arms — it’s irrelevant to my work.
So why do we like to call each other #GirlBoss?
What psychological missing puzzle piece is making us, as women — further perpetuate the idea that women need their OWN table as opposed to sitting a the perfectly good one that already exists?
Objectively, I believe it stems from a generationally inherited feeling towards male-dominated spaces.
There was a time when seeing a woman on a board or in a senior leadership position was a rarity. And in some industries, it still is — I am not denying that sexism and discrimination exist, it does. I don’t think it’s as prevalent as we claim it to be. I find it hard to believe that the majority of men in leadership positions are intentionally holding women back from achieving the same goals as their male counterparts — they have their own jobs to do and their own goals to hit.
This is where #GirlBoss comes in.
A place where women can unite and band together with a common grievance — being held back by The Man. It gives us a finger to point, a reason to blame — and a level of accountability not to be taken.
And my opinion on this is probably going to upset and probably trigger a lot of people. Maybe you’re one of them. But #girlboss is damaging. Because how can we expect to be taken seriously if we don’t take ourselves seriously?
We’re not little girls. We’re professional people.
A few months ago I received an email from a then-client, addressing myself and my colleague as ‘girls’. Instantly my back went up. I’m a woman, not a girl — a woman running a relatively successful business churning out incredibly PR and social media campaigns.
I’m not a girl.
And yet, here we are — describing ourselves as GIRLS but still becoming upset when the opposite sex does the same.
Calling ourselves ‘girl’ gives the world permission to do the same. It screams, “I’m not a serious business person”. It puts out the vibes of running a hobby — not a business. If you’re serious about your reputation, you need to be serious about the conversations around in.
I want to build the best Personal Branding Agency in the world. I want to be industry-leading. I want to be the business that all the businesses want to be — I want to sit on boards and make a change.
How many girls do you know doing that?
And look, maybe you’re reading this and thinking “What a load of shit!”. And for you, you might be right. #GirlBoss might be your identity — the place you go to get comfort and connect with people who think just like you. But I think you’re making a mistake.
I don’t think #GirlBoss is supportive — I think it’s holding you back. I think it’s holding us all back.
And I worry that women don’t realise that until it’s too late.
This isn’t a woman vs. men issue.
Have you ever heard Mark Zuckerberg or Elon Musk be described as a Dadtrepreneur? Or a HE-EO?
Me either.
But the real issue isn’t men calling women these derogatory terms — it’s other women. It’s not about how men treat us; it’s internalised misogyny. We’ve somehow managed to rebrand calling full-grown, successful women ‘girls’ and ‘bitches’ as modern feminism.
Feminism is about equal rights. Equal opportunities. Equal access to healthcare, promotions — to life. #girlboss promotes none of those things.
According to the Reykjavík Index for Leadership measures perceptions of equality for men and women in leadership. In the 2020/2021 report, the average Index score for women was 73, well short of the target score of 100 (which indicates consensus across society that women and men are equally suited for leadership).
When you call yourself a #girlboss, you imply that you’re part of something separate. That you’re less than your male colleagues. That you can’t operate on the same level as them because of your gender. Does that sound equal to you?
We’re told #girlboss is a tribe of like-minded women on a crusade to support one another, but we’ve been misled. The reality is, #girlboss undermines women. It limits our potential — and the concept is fucking over women worldwide.
Conclusion
As I said earlier — feminism is about equal rights. It’s about having the same opportunity men do to sit at the same table. If we want to be seen as equal to men we have to stop building our own tables.
We have to stop putting genders in front of our professions, our dreams — our identities.
According to McKinsey, gender diversity on executive teams directly links to increased profitability. And if you’re a woman reading this, you probably already know that stat. So stop standing in the way of you — and the women climbing the corporate ladder over the sake of some ridiculous Instagram hashtag.
You deserve better.
I deserve better.
Women deserve better.
But there is going to be NO change if we continue to perpetuate the idea that women are less than men. And that is on us if we continue to demean ourselves and our gender by calling ourselves #GirlBoss.
